Friday, January 30, 2009

Robespierre: Suicide Fail




Maximilien Robespierre came to power during the radical stages of the French Revolution, and is pretty much wholly responsible for the fact that they were the most radical time periods of the Revolution. After the increasingly powerful Jacobins started to become upset with how moderate the Nation Assembly was turning out to be, they decided they had had enough (double had, LOL). The Paris Commune, a radical group composed mainly of Jacobins, rose in power and eventually overthrew the Legislative Assembly (the government that the Nation Assembly had established). The National Convention was set up (yes, they decided to use National in the name yet again), and was heavily dominated by people adhering the the opinions of the Jacobins and the Paris Commune. After executing the king and going to war with Austria, they had successfully screwed up France, and chaos ensued.

Robespierre then jumped in so he could, well...ensue more chaos. The National Assembly established the Committee of Public Safety to attempt to restore some type of order, and they placed Robespierre right on top. He pretty much just did whatever he wanted to. On his orders, huge amounts of people who were deemed not nationalistic enough were executed in the streets of Paris with the handy dandy Guillotine, a weird ass new calender was invented, the cathedral of Notre-Dame was converted to the Temple of Reason, and, to sum things up, France basically erupted into even more mayhem.

It was this blatant use of terror that achieved Robespierre extreme amounts of awesomeness. You may think it impossible, but it eventually proved to be too much awesomeness. Robespierre's peers in The National Assembly were scared that he would eventually start killing them too, so they turned against him and decided to put him on the guillotine. In a last second effort to die with dignity, Robespierre attempted to shoot himself in the face, but missed. What a loser. He ended up knocking half his face off, living through it, being guillotined, and earning a Suicide Fail.

20 comments:

  1. I think you have a History Fail.

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  2. Stupidest, most inaccurate account I've ever read. As the user above said: History Fail.

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  3. I vote for the History Fail for Leo, too. Poor boy, what are your stupid sources? As I suppose you don't read French, you may try Palmer's The Twelve Who Ruled for a change. I hope your brain is in your skull, so you can get the message right.

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  4. Wow...inaccurate, and not even funny. Fail.

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  5. Houston? We have History Fail.

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  6. ...I second the History Fail. So. Much. History. Fail.

    Hell, this goes beyond History Fail and into Whoever Wrote This = Fail. There isn't a single correct fact in the whole thing, it's immensely unfunny, and just...wow. So much fail. And not on the part of the subject of this article, because no matter how bad the guy was, at least he would have probably looked up what he was talking about first when trying to be funny.

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    Replies
    1. I think this is the same person who commented the same thing 7 times in one day... pretending to be 7 different people so that his opinion would seem popular. Anonymous person, do you really have so much hate that you decided to keep this page open for the whole day and come back every 3 to 4 hours to comment one thing? Such immaturity.

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    2. bruh are u the author tryna save his foreskin or what lmao, useless waste of time this blog is :D

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  7. Wow. So much freaking History Fail it's not even funny.

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  8. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  9. I've never seen so much History Fail in three paragraphs before.

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  10. wowww i read this over and over 5 timesandi still dont get it. not funny and definitely incorrect

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  11. Hello,

    I'm French and a Maximilien Robespierre admirer.
    Notwithstanding all the history fails in this post and the scary and unfair image you give of Robespierre, I've laught. Hard.

    Well, indeed, it is very funny to see how anglo-saxon see the very moments of our national history. But also, the way you've written this is funny. Really.

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  12. I would like to thank everyone that commented saying this is terrible info. I am doing an essay comparing Napoleon and Robespierre. I would might have used this awful information if it was not for you. This just goes to show you cannot trust every source on the internet, because idiots like this guy can post crap like this

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  13. This is an awful history fail. Robespierre wasn't tyrannical, Collot d'Herbois, Fouche, and Billaud-Varenne caused much more trouble during the Terror. Sit down and read a damn book. I am indeed an enormous fan/admirer of Robespierre, but at least I can get my facts straight. Robespierre saved 28,000 royalists and fought against slavery, improved education, and fought for the rights of citizens who were mistreated due to social standing.

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  14. its actually correct on spacific events just not very much in between

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  15. your grammar sucks butt.

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  16. aye i used it for class and got an A so i'm cool with this source thx very much man

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